Wednesday, March 31, 2010
The Favored Child
*~When I'm FORCED to look at you Part ♥ 5~* A Niley & Jemi Story
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Scary People & My Husband
Monday, March 29, 2010
Lutherans, Tornadoes, and Gays! Oh my!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Margaret Hoover on The O'Reilly Factor for or against the kids - you decide
old miss diary 2 of 11 (engsubs)
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Ian Tyson - Some Kind Of Fool
Friday, March 26, 2010
what if? a jemi sequel to arranged marriage ep.10
what if? a jemi sequel to arranged marriage ep.10
Thursday, March 25, 2010
"Polygamy and Me"
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Naadi 2
Meet Dave Trailer
Sarah Palin slaps Obama around just for fun
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Memory Cloud
Four Signs of Cheating in Marriage - Know What to Look For Before It's Too Late!
That sinking, almost nauseous feeling deep in the pit of your stomach just won't go away no matter what you do. You know something's not quite right, but you just can't quite put your finger on it. Maybe your spouse seems a bit distant or a little preoccupied lately, or perhaps they're spending more and more time at work and less and less time at home. Your suspicions that your husband or wife are cheating on you are now running rampant. Is it your imagination? Or, do you really have something to be concerned about?
Read on for the top four signs of cheating in marriage and recognize these telltale signs before it's too late.
1. The Sudden Need for Privacy or "Space"
If, up until now, you and your mate have had an open, honest marriage and shared just about everything together including your spare time, your finances, and your feelings, but now, all of a sudden, they're acting distant, spending more and more time "alone" and behaving as if they need their space, perhaps it's time to see this is a warning sign.
Are credit card or phone bills now off-limits? Does your spouse act nervous when you ask to see the checkbook? Are they on the phone at weird times, acting nervous if you enter the room? What about the cell phone bill, is that community knowledge, or does your spouse covet it and say not to worry as they'll take care of it?
2. Work Habits Have Suddenly Changed
Unless your spouse has recently gotten a promotion or a completely new job with different hours and responsibilities, working late or working at odd hours may indeed be a sign something isn't right. Is your spouse suddenly very interested in their career, spending more time at the office or on the computer dealing with work related issues? Honestly ask yourself if it really is just their job, or if they're merely using it as a smokescreen.
3. Spending More and More Time on the Computer
Unfortunately, today people looking for either physical or emotional affairs or one-night stands don't have to look much farther than their own computer. At any given time, someone, somewhere is more than willing and able to become intimate with someone, regardless of their current marital status.
Become familiar with your computer, learn how to find your internet browser's history to see the sites that have been visited, and if you're really concerned and have no qualms about taking this more serious route, there are always free programs to be had known as keyloggers that record every single keystroke and every website visited on your computer. They install and then run stealthily in the background, unbeknownst to the user that everything they're doing is being recorded.
4. Your Very Own Intuition
Humans are blessed with a sort of built-in radar that alerts us when something isn't quite right with a certain situation. If you've found yourself looking for excuses for your mate's odd behavior, and seem to be either comforting yourself or trying to convince yourself of their innocence, this may also be a telltale warning sign that infidelity has indeed reared its ugly head and sadly found its way into your marriage.
Monday, March 22, 2010
[2008.10.25][Eng Sub] Kim Jong Kook Entertainment Relay
Four Signs of Cheating in Marriage - Know What to Look For Before It's Too Late!
That sinking, almost nauseous feeling deep in the pit of your stomach just won't go away no matter what you do. You know something's not quite right, but you just can't quite put your finger on it. Maybe your spouse seems a bit distant or a little preoccupied lately, or perhaps they're spending more and more time at work and less and less time at home. Your suspicions that your husband or wife are cheating on you are now running rampant. Is it your imagination? Or, do you really have something to be concerned about?
Read on for the top four signs of cheating in marriage and recognize these telltale signs before it's too late.
1. The Sudden Need for Privacy or "Space"
If, up until now, you and your mate have had an open, honest marriage and shared just about everything together including your spare time, your finances, and your feelings, but now, all of a sudden, they're acting distant, spending more and more time "alone" and behaving as if they need their space, perhaps it's time to see this is a warning sign.
Are credit card or phone bills now off-limits? Does your spouse act nervous when you ask to see the checkbook? Are they on the phone at weird times, acting nervous if you enter the room? What about the cell phone bill, is that community knowledge, or does your spouse covet it and say not to worry as they'll take care of it?
2. Work Habits Have Suddenly Changed
Unless your spouse has recently gotten a promotion or a completely new job with different hours and responsibilities, working late or working at odd hours may indeed be a sign something isn't right. Is your spouse suddenly very interested in their career, spending more time at the office or on the computer dealing with work related issues? Honestly ask yourself if it really is just their job, or if they're merely using it as a smokescreen.
3. Spending More and More Time on the Computer
Unfortunately, today people looking for either physical or emotional affairs or one-night stands don't have to look much farther than their own computer. At any given time, someone, somewhere is more than willing and able to become intimate with someone, regardless of their current marital status.
Become familiar with your computer, learn how to find your internet browser's history to see the sites that have been visited, and if you're really concerned and have no qualms about taking this more serious route, there are always free programs to be had known as keyloggers that record every single keystroke and every website visited on your computer. They install and then run stealthily in the background, unbeknownst to the user that everything they're doing is being recorded.
4. Your Very Own Intuition
Humans are blessed with a sort of built-in radar that alerts us when something isn't quite right with a certain situation. If you've found yourself looking for excuses for your mate's odd behavior, and seem to be either comforting yourself or trying to convince yourself of their innocence, this may also be a telltale warning sign that infidelity has indeed reared its ugly head and sadly found its way into your marriage.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
SL: A Jonas Love Story [Chapter 29]
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Night Of the Shadows Trailer
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
You And I Are Through
Monday, March 15, 2010
Rockstars in Reality season2 trailor
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Margaret Hoover on The O'Reilly Factor for or against the kids - you decide
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Satanic activities of the Rabbis and the Popes - Part 3
Friday, March 12, 2010
Disney Interracial Propaganda For Black Children
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Marriage Secrets Revealed by Happy People
Who among us has not experienced the feelings of rage, insecurity, fear, or some other "negative" emotion that was triggered by a certain "look" from someone else? If this is something that happens with a chance encounter, like from the waitress waiting on your table as you drive several states away on vacation for example; a waitress that gives you a look that just doesn't "settle" well with you. While it may not be comfortable, it's not like you have to see her every day.
However, if this look is chronic, showing up on a consistent basis from someone you see daily, this might present a challenge. Encounter this "look" from a spouse or significant other on a regular basis, and you have the makings of what we refer to as a "tussle" here in the Midwest.
Unfortunately, all too often our misinterpretation of the facial expressions of others leads to long, arduous, and more importantly, unnecessary turmoil. Odd as it may seem, many of those who have been married for years, have never correctly identified the non-verbal messages offered by their spouse.
This is a very significant marriage secret! It's important to note than the primary reason for these chronic misinterpretations can be found in the fact that for the most part, this all takes place on an unconscious level, just below the threshold that would allow us to "notice" and make clearer distinctions.
Therapists and counselors who have been divorced are often ridiculed for offering marriage "advice" to others. But let me share something with you; if you truly want to learn how to enhance your marriage, find someone who has been divorced, or who has had a very rocky marriage at one time, but then turned things around and now enjoys a truly fulfilling relationship.
Forget about finding a couple that has always had a stable relationship, and asking them how they do it. Why? It's really rather simple. The key is awareness; success is a very poor teacher.
When things are going well, we rarely stop to question why things are running so smoothly. Instead, we just enjoy the fruits of our unconscious labor and almost always struggle when pressed to reveal the real strategies behind our success.
Those who have turned things around on the other hand, have been "prodded" by the pain of their previous condition, to discover and bring into their conscious awareness, the patterns of behavior that were responsible for their strife. Then, they maintain that heightened state of awareness as they methodically integrate new and improved behaviors and habits, thus affording them the opportunity to tell others precisely what they do that creates the happiness they experience.
Those who are the happiest in their marriage and/or relationships have mastered the skill of "reading" the face of those they are close to. While this topic alone could take an entire book to cover every aspect of successfully interpreting the non-verbal signals of others, you don't have to know everything there is to know about it, to be able to benefit tremendously.
John Gottman, the world's foremost researcher on successful marriages offers these four keys to think about, that will enhance your people reading skills and your ability to empower your relationships to unbelievable levels of unity and bliss:
1. Identify what the persons face looks like when they are in a neutral state: You have to have a baseline to work from. It's a whole lot easier to distinguish one expression from another, and more importantly, what it "means", when you know what a "clean slate" face for this person looks like.
2. Realize that people generally experience more than one emotion: What you observe on the face of another is often a confusing mixture of several different emotions at one. If they are trying to conceal their feelings, it gets even trickier. Therefore, thinking, "They're mad, sad, happy, etc. may only be partially true; it may also be that those emotions are very brief.
3. Don't mistake habitual facial features as temporary emotions signals: Some people are "blessed" with mouths that have down turned corners, and they appear to be unhappy just about all of the time. Clearly identify the natural expressions that might have been easily misinterpreted as meaning something that didn't do much to enhance the feelings between the two of you.
4. Slow down, and really LOOK: Since most emotions are fleeting, and therefore speed the corresponding expressions past us in somewhat of a blur at times, it's important that we develop our observational skills over time with practice, just like we do with any other worthwhile endeavor. Look, really look at the face of the other person or loved one when you are communicating with them. When you're uncertain what a look "means" ASK THEM what it means, or what they were feeling just then. As obvious as that seems, it's amazing how many people never do it. They're so certain that they already know what it means, that they don't ever validate it with a simple question.
You've probably already thought of several instances where you wound up in an all out argument with someone you love, simply because on an unconscious level, the look on their face triggered something deep inside you; perhaps the memory of an abusive parent, or a bully at school, and the similar look on their face as they were taunting you.
With associations like this taking place, especially outside of your conscious awareness, it's a given that you'll be needlessly enduring upsets and arguments, over and over again.
While there are many other, far more powerful marriage secrets that the happiest couples utilize, the best place to start is with the very simple, but amazingly effective fundamentals. As the fundamentals go, ceasing to allow loved ones facial expressions to thrust you into overdrive is as basic as it gets.
Enjoy making these discoveries, expanding your awareness of the impact a simple look from another can have on you, and watch what happens to your relationships!
© Copyright 2007 Vincent Harris-All Rights Reserved.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Before You Begin Marriage Counseling, Ask This Question
There's an important question that you need to ask the marriage counselor you and your spouse are considering using. The question itself may surprise you, as well as the answer your potential counselor gives.
It's an often-overlooked question that hardly anyone ever talks about. Therapists don't include it in articles they write about how to select a good counselor, so you're unlikely to read about it. I've never heard of the topic being discussed on the popular daytime television shows that delve into so many varied subjects.
But the answer to this important question could save you time, money, and energy spent with the wrong therapist. It's a good question to use as a deciding factor if you narrow your search for a marriage counselor down to two or three possibilities, and all look fairly equal in education, training, and experience.
What is the question I consider so important that it could be the "deciding vote" in selecting a therapist for marriage counseling? Here it is. Ask the potential marriage counselor(s): "Have you ever participated in extensive personal therapy yourself?"
Then watch the therapist's reaction and listen carefully to what he or she says. Also pay attention to the emotional tone in the response. Consider the following responses to the suggested question. My remarks are in italics in the parenthesis:
1. "No, I've never had to go to counseling."
(Never "had" to go? Do you mean that you're "above" having to go to counseling? That only people who aren't as emotionally stable as you are "have" to go? How will you even know what it's like to go to an unfamiliar office and tell a stranger the most intimate details about your life?)
2. "Yes, I went once for several times when my father died."
(That's slightly better, but what about all that self-growth work counselors are always advocating other people do? Don't you take your own advice?)
3. "No."
(That's odd. Why the one-word answer? It's a logical question to ask. Why would I entrust you with my vulnerability and something as important as my marriage if you've never been to counseling yourself? Why haven't you been? Don't you believe in what you're offering?)
4. "I took part in some counseling when I took my courses for my degree."
(You mean you role played with other students in some of your counseling classes--that doesn't count. You weren't in a real counseling situation and were probably focused on what your classmates and professor thought of your role-playing. That's totally different from participating in therapy to look closely at your own real issues.)
5. "Yes, I have. I've had several years of intensive personal counseling, and I still see a counselor when things come up that I need to process. I know how much courage and commitment it takes to confront personal issues, avoid blaming others, and take responsibility for the quality of one's life."
(Yes, this is the one! He (or she) has gone through the counseling process himself. He won't be just talking about something he has never experienced, and he doesn't sound ashamed that he's had counseling. Instead, he sounds proud of himself for making that choice. I like that he "practices what he preaches" about counseling. He must believe that it helps in some way or he wouldn't have spent so much time and money getting counseling himself.)
Are you surprised to learn that many counselors have never participated in counseling as clients and have never faced their own individual or relationship issues? That they could get their advanced degree and become licensed without having participated in personal growth counseling? It is shocking to think that could happen, but it does--quite often.
Just think about it--would you want to go to a therapist who recommends counseling to others but has never taken her (or his) own advice? Who hasn't dealt with her own personal past and present issues that could impact the recommendations she makes to you? Who doesn't really know how vulnerable you feel as a client and how much courage it takes to make an appointment, sit in the waiting room, and then talk openly to someone you've never seen before?
I can unequivocally say that you should steer clear of counselors who haven't done their own work in counseling--either in individual counseling, relationship or marriage counseling, or both. There's a saying that you can't take other people any further than you've been yourself.
That's certainly true when it comes to counseling. The counselor needs to be very familiar with the terrain--not from only textbook knowledge but from personal experience, also. He (or she) also needs to be able to help you without getting your issues all tangled up in his own unresolved issues--something personal counseling helps a counselor to do more effectively.
So before you sign on with a marriage counselor, ask the important question--"Have you ever participated in extensive personal therapy yourself?"--and be sure that the counselor you select knows the advantages of personal counseling first-hand.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Homosexuals in Lithuania
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Episode 64 - Sarcasm
Friday, March 5, 2010
Complacency, Like Many Other Common Marriage Problems, is Like the Plague
Complacency like many other common marriage problems is a bit like the plague. It's catching and it spreads, you don't hear it and you don't see it and by the time you realise what is happening the damage is done.
Don't ever become complacent, like everything else in life marriage has to be worked at, the relationship nurtured and your partner cared for. If you've fallen into the common marriage problems trap and let the rot set in but want to save your marriage my advice is to go back to basics.
It is so easy to fall into a daily routine, fuelled by responsibilities and just forget what relationships are all about. With so much to do each day, and without the need to plan to meet each other, relationships tend to be pushed to the back, treated as something that doesn't need to be attended to and left to just bumble along.
Often we fail to make time for our partners and when we do, it's often some stolen moments at the end of a long hard day when we lack the energy to show how much we love and appreciate each other and are just too tired to have any fun.
When spouses begin to feel neglected they often start with the subtle plea, a gentle reminder that they feel that they aren't important any more, that they feel unloved, undervalued and that another of those common marriage problems, boredom with the daily routine has set in. And so the rot begins......
It is all too easy to brush aside their pleas, just assume that they know you love them, expect them to understand that you are tired, believe that they will understand that you don't have the time and all too soon the habit continues and you forget the initial signs that the marriage is in trouble.
If you continue to ignore the early unrest it can seem a clear indication to your partner that life is more important than they are. It won't matter that you are getting stick at work or that the children need ferrying around or that other responsibilities are getting in the way, they will just see this big neon sign saying 'you don't love me any more', you don't want to save your marriage, no advice, no gentle nudge, no subtle plea is going to make a difference.
It is critical that no matter what life throws at us we show that we value our partners, and our relationships, every day of our lives. Common marriage problems such as complacency, boredom, jealousy, lack of trust and even infidelity just creep up on us, out of nowhere, and without us making an effort what we craved, what we worked for and what we have enjoyed can crumble away before our very eyes.
All it takes is those small gestures, nothing fancy, nothing time consuming, nothing expensive just small and thoughtful little gestures that show love, respect and affection for each other. An indication that we still appreciate our marriage, our relationship and the life we have together.
If you want to save your marriage, my advice is make your spouse your top priority, let them see that they are valuable and precious, and that above all they and their feelings come first.
Compliments should be regular, not a thing of the past and not something that you believe is no longer required. Make sure your spouse knows that you appreciate them, respect them, love them and admire then and above all make sure that they know that you want to be with them.
Ensure that you spend time together and relax, enjoy and appreciate each others company. Don't loose those intimate moments no matter how hard it is. Touch hands when passing, hold hands when you walk, kiss each other hello and goodbye, make time for a cuddle every day and never loose the excitement of the fleeting glance and the odd caress. If you fail to keep that bond between you your relationship will start to slide and before you know it what was once a loving marriage will become an empty shell.
Complacency is a very true and common marriage problem, don't assume it won't happen to you and don't assume that you know each other so well that you don't need to make an effort. Some marriages take more work than others but all marriages need nurturing to survive.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
This Old House 29x04 (2/3) Newton Center Project Part 4 of 16
Monday, March 1, 2010
Common Marriage Problems, Loss of Intimacy
It is amazing the number of couples that allow the intimate side of their relationship slide. Loss of intimacy is one of those common marriage problems that eat away at the very foundation of a marriage turning what was once a loving and fulfilling relationship into nothing more than a shell.
The excuses are all too common, just too busy at work, the children are too demanding, we don't have time or it's just temporary to name but a few. With such easy excuses slipping off the tongue it's just an open door for a myriad of marriage problems to take hold.
Like most common marriage problems if you are prepared to make an effort loss of intimacy in a marriage is relatively easy to resolve but the further apart you allow yourselves to grow the harder it is to get that marriage back on track.
It's so easy just to say we don't have the same feelings anymore and assume that the time has come to draw the line but what about if you just take a step back and attack loss of intimacy in the same way you should handle any common marriage problem. Look at marriage issues as something to be resolved, a minor setback in life and not the end of the journey.
We all face problems at work, with the children and with the family but work problems we handle, children issues we sort out and look how far we have to be pushed before we even consider disowning our family. Why is it then so common for marriages to split up over a few solvable problems?
If we are prepared to make an effort with every other aspect of our lives why do so many couples just fall at the first hurdle? You can't say that living with someone is something we aren't generally used to, after all we have to make allowances for others and cope with family differences as we grow up. What makes couple so what makes couples so blinkered, unbending and uncaring?
So many people loose site of their marriage vows, forget the bit about for better or for worse and assume that as soon as the ring goes on their finger that their work is done. Marriage is never easy almost every marriage has its ups and downs and letting the intimate part of the marriage slide is quite a common marriage problem. The couples that come out on top are those that recognise their failings, accept that some work needs to be done and refocus their attentions on what really matters.
To make a marriage work you need that special relationship time, people need to feel valued, respected, loved and that they are the most important thing in your life. You partner needs attention, the odd little gift, the kiss hello and goodbye, the fleeting caress and a cuddle at the end of the day. Never loose site of what is important and if you've been sidetracked, which is a common thing to do, now is the time to take stock, sort out any marriage problems and get back on the right track. You make time for everything else in your life so don't become complacent with what matters most, your partner and your marriage.