The Top Reason For Divorce is Lack of Communication

As confirmed by the American Counseling Association's, the most prevalent theme running through our country's failed marriages is lack of communication. Since we as Americans love to communicate, it seems odd that our communication is failing with the most important person in our life. This fact results in our country divorce rate being 50%, and holding. If you are on your second or third marriage, increase the rate.

lack of communication usually starts with the inability to discuss the smaller issues that arise. This soon creates anger and frustration build up, which ends in larger issues. Larger issues are not as easy to solve as smaller ones.

Using communication to work out your problems is key to a healthy relationship. Here are a few keys points to help you build communication with your spouse:

1. Stay quiet and focused while truly listening to what each other is saying.

2. Not only listen to the actual words, but the underlying feeling and emotions as well.

3. Try to understand from another perspective, try to understand the other side of the argument. This doesn't mean you necessarily have to agree.

4. Let the other person know you are listening by rephrasing what they have told you and to ensure clear understanding.

5. when you let your partner know you are not only listening to their words, but feelings as well, you will validate their emotions.

6. Show your sincerity by making yourself aware of nonverbal messages you may be sending your partner. Facial expressions and tone of voice are tell tale signs.

7. Use I statements to tell your partner what they are doing wrong and how you feel.

8. Make the person aware ahead of time that you would like to have a discussion. this will make it seem less like an attack and let them gather their own thoughts as well.

9. Set aside the time to talk, when you will be free from distractions of life or interruptions, such as kids.

10. Stay on topic, try to keep your discussion confined to the topic at hand.

Utilizing these tips will help you and your spouse to communicate more effectively, and just may save your marriage. Avoid rehashing the past, keep your discussions in the present moment. This will allow you to focus on solutions that you can work toward together. Applying these tips to your communication repertoire will almost certainly guarantee results.