Children with behavioral disorders are more likely to take advantage of a parent asking them to do a chore or task rather than telling them to do the chore. It leaves too much room for any child to tell their parents "no" or to begin bargaining about what they will or will not do. Children with ODD are prone to defy their parent's requests. This is not because they are trying to be difficult but because their brain automatically tells them to be defiant.
How can parents reduce or eliminate some of these defiant situations? Eliminate the options. It is not socially incorrect for a parent to tell their child to complete a task. Parents often make the mistake of asking the child to complete a task that they already know they want done. Why set yourself up for the frustration?
The parents are in the leadership position and that is their right and duty. A child does not need several choices about how or when a task is going to get completed. They need structure and guidelines.
Telling the child to put away their toys after dinner is specific and time bound. When giving the command, make sure the tone of voice and body language reflect a statement and not a question. It is confusing to the child if the tone suggests they may have an option, when, in fact, they really do not.
When a child refuses, calmly restate your command. It may be necessary to step closer to the child. This type of body positioning lets the child know you are serious. Stay firm in your direction and use your power as the leader/parent to get the task completed.
Do you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your child's out-of-control and defiant behavior without using Punishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or Rewards?
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